


The Shack In The Forest

by GenerallyHuxurious (GallifreyanOmnishambles)



Series: Huxurious Huxloween [3]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghost Hunters, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ghosts, Haunted Houses, Haunting, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Paranormal Investigators, Poltergeists, The Evil Dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8191481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GallifreyanOmnishambles/pseuds/GenerallyHuxurious
Summary: Set in The Eldritch Effect universe. It wasn't exactly 'The Cabin In The Woods' but Hux had heard weird things about this particular abandoned shack and he intends to take it seriously, even if Kylo won't... [For Huxloween Day 3]





	

“This is such a waste of time."

"Hmm."

“It is!”

Hux shot a withering look toward silhouette blocking the thin sunset light streaming in through the door of the rundown shack. The East Tennessee woods looked desolate and uninviting behind him, but the inside of the shack was much, much worse. 

"Kylo, you're saying that as a man who spent thirty minutes this morning deciding whether to pluck his eyebrows. Not actually plucking them, just deciding whether to bother and you're calling this a waste of time?"

He gestured around himself with raised eyebrows, challenging Kylo to disagree with him. 

The belligerent ginger was standing in the middle of the threadbare carpet while small objects orbited him like the world’s most domestic orrery. There was a tea set. A 1930s radio. The contents of a vanity case. On the wall a horrible stuffed moose head was rolling it's eyes and laughing at them. A trap door in the corner of the room was rattling ominously. Disembodied feet pattered across the floor and unseen voices whispered in their ears. Above them the lights were flickering and surging like a low budget discotheque.

Kylo rolled his eyes with disgust at the whole display.

"This is the single worst haunted house I've EVER be in. And I'm including fairgrounds in that, not just 'legitimate' hauntings. I mean, this is all just blatant Evil Dead references! There’s no originality AND they've made precisely zero effort to hide the special effects!"

He pointed at the moose. "Cheap animatronics." The trapdoor. "Hydraulics." The floating objects. "Strings. And they've not even used fishing line! Look at it- that's twine for fuck's sake!"

"You look but you never actually see, do you Kylo?" Hux said with a fond but condescending smile.

The floorboards creaked as Kylo stomped into the room, looking around irritably when the door slammed shut behind him. The moose said something derogatory about his mother, but since he more or less agreed with it he paid the thing no mind. 

"What the fuck does that mean?” He asked Hux, crossing his arms and keeping his gaze fixed on the rotting sofa in the corner, childishly refusing to actually pay attention to all the cheap tricks Hux seemed so fascinated by. 

“Look at the strings.” 

Hux was perched on the edge of the chair by the half burnt desk, dragging notebooks out of satchel as he hunted for his ouija board.

“You’re not actually going to try to talk to something in here are you? For fucks sake, Hux, this place is a joke.”

“Look at the strings.”

“Why?! They’re just strings! Tied to trash! Going up to the ceili… oh.”

The poorly fastened twine was definitely attached to the floating objects. And it did extend towards the ceiling. And then, it stopped, anywhere between two inches and an entire foot from the actual open beams of the roof. Some of them would have attached where the slates had fallen away and there was nothing but open sky and cobwebs above them. 

“What the fuck?”

“Did you notice any power lines running this far into the woods? And it looks like the generator was stolen years ago. Even if that motheaten thing,” Hux pointed at the moose, which swore at him quite colourfully, “even if it is animatronic, there’s nothing actually powering it any more.”

With a shake of his head he turned back to his board. He’d set it up next to a flickering lamp to get a better view of the letters but when the bulb surged he dropped the planchette- it had suddenly become red hot in his grip.

F-U-C-K--O-F-F--Y-R--R-U-I-N-I-G--T-H-E--F-U-N

“See? Told you- dyslexic poltergeist.”

F-U-C-K--U

“No thanks, that’s his job.”

“HUX! Jesus Christ, man.” Kylo hissed, blushing slightly. “You’ve no idea how old this ghost is! I do not wanna get possessed by a homophobic civil war racist. Again.”

“Kylo, this is East Tennessee, not…”

T-H-AT-S--B-OG-U-S--M-A-N--F-C-K--U--I--A-I-N-T--R-A-C-I-S-T

“Bogus?” Kylo asked with a mischievous smirk. “Oh my god, are you an Eighties ghost?”

T-O-T-A-L-L-Y

“Wow, Hux, we did it! We finally did it!” Kylo grinned when Hux raised a puzzled eyebrow. “We finally found someone as out of touch as you are and he’s only been dead for thirty fucking years!!”

Hux gave him the finger.

P-L-E-S-E--F-U-C-K--O-F--T-H-E-Y-L--B--H-E-R-E--S-O-O-N

“Who?”

L-A-M-E--B-O-Y-S--N--C-H-O-I-C-E--C-H-I-C-K-S

“Kylo do you understand that?”

Kylo rolled his eyes. “Guys bring their girlfriends out here? To scare them?”

L-A-U-G-H--M-S-T-L-Y--T-H-E-N--D-O--I-T

“Ah, so that’s why the effects are so bad- if they’re genuinely scared then they leave.”

Y-E-H--T-H-E-N--N-O--T-I-T-S

Hux stared into space for a second, his lips twisting as he fought between amusement and distaste. “That’s disgusting. Ingenious, but disgusting. What do you think Kylo? Do we let Casper the Pervert stay?”

“You’re not encouraging anything non-consensual are you?” Kylo asked the moose, more for the instinctive comfort of making eye contact than any genuine belief that the poltergeist was actually inhabiting it.

W-H-A-T-S--Y-R--D-A-M-A-G-E--F-C-K--N-O

“Well, at least that means there’s no angry molesting tree outside.” Hux muttered.

Kylo glared at him. “What do you do it that case?”

In response a tiny raincloud formed by Kylo’s left ear, zapping him with an even smaller, but still painful, lighting bolt.

R-G-H-T--I-N--T-H-E--D-I-C-K

“Thanks for  _ not _ demonstrating that!” Kylo said, rubbing his ear. “I think he can stay.”

I-M--A--G-I-R-L

“Oh, sorry, didn’t mean to misgender you.”

K

“Right, we’ll be off then. Leave you to your voyeurism.” Hux said, stuffing everything back into his bag. 

W-A-I-T

“Yes?”

I-M--N-O-T--I-N-T-O--G-U-Y-S--B-U-T--I-F--U--W-A-N-N-A--D-O--I-T

“No. Absolutely not. We’re leaving. And you can keep the ouija board.” He shuddered slightly and wondered where he’d left the anti-bac hand gel.

Kylo grinned. “Aw, come on Hux, she was nice enough to talk to us…” 

“You can do whatever the fuck you want, but I’m leaving.” Hux said irritably, heading for the door. 

He glanced back as Kylo wandered further into the house, hands on his belt. 

“Oh  _ come on _ , really?!”

“I’ll be five minutes! It’s only polite.”

“You’re disgusting.”


End file.
